Fr Denis McBride CSsR Book of the Month...

Dearest Friends,

I had the privilege of directing courses at the international Redemptorist pastoral centre, Hawkstone Hall, for 21 years. Over the passage of that time I listened to many priests, Religious, and lay people who came into my office for a chat. Many wanted to talk about an issue that perplexed them; some wanted to unburden themselves of secrets carried for too long; some just popped in, apparently, for a natter. Over the years what fascinated me was how the conversations began. Talk started about the weather, the recent news, the lovely view out the window to the wandering sheep, even delight in the colour of the curtains. Time went by, and then some more. After a little while, I would press my guest to ask: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Silence, however awkward it might seem, is something that has never bothered me. Sometimes you have to wait; sometimes it takes people a good while to lean into the reason why they want to talk. Sometimes, I admit, they would leave the room, promising to come back another day. Some never did: I never pressed them to return.

All this came back to me while reading this wonderful novel, The Things We Never Say. It reawakened something we all know: how difficult it is, even with those we love, perhaps especially with those we love, how to tell the story of what hurts us and what haunts us.

Artie Dam, a history teacher at the local high school, carries the narrative. He’s 57, funny and kind, respected and loved by his students. Since the pandemic they have become more fearful, even though they cannot articulate why. He angrily confronts bullying in the classroom: it is something he cannot abide. He has a wife of 30 years who seems emotionally distant and an adult son who has become withdrawn; his only enjoyment seems to be sailing at the weekends in Massachusetts’ Bay. All seems well on the outside but on the inside Artie, his wife and his son, together with the other minor characters, are all making their own separate and lonely ways through their Stations of the Cross.

The story is set against the backdrop of a divided political environment before and following the 2024 U.S. presidential election. While Artie is plagued by feelings of isolation, he looks out at a world gone mad and is haunted by the question: How is it that we know so little about one another, even those closest to us?

The Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Elizabeth Strout, is well known for her sharp observations of ordinary life and the people who inhabit it. This is the fourth books of hers I have read and it did not disappoint: her sharpness is softened by her kindness; her astute observations are tempered by her natural sympathy for the weight of everyday life. She catches sensitively how we don’t always depict our true selves to others and how we all battle with something beneath the facade. This is one of the author’s most penetrating studies of loneliness, the secrets hidden in families, and the stubborn kindness that can still change lives. As you read a story of fictional characters, that same story will open an inner dialogue with yourself. It is brilliant.

Warmest Blessings,